Orientation

Date: 23 March 2011

There's something special about today. Yes, this date will definitely become the day I cherish the most. Judging by the title, I know what ya'all think. It's the first day of my degree course!!! And I just had my orientation day XD

Now that the boring stuff is out of the way, I could move on to my social life...or more importantly, my love life.

I know that a few posts ago (ok, quite a number of posts ago), I always bragged about how my love life sucks and that maybe someday I would find my dearest one along my miserable pitiful journey I call life. Guess I didn't have to wait that long. ^^

His name is Cyren or that's what most of his friends would call him. I call him Cy...or all the lovey dovey names...hehe. Like a caterpillar, we started out curious yet insecure at the same time. Because of our past relationships (refer back to my previous posts), we sort of have a rough and ugly path of relationships. As time moved on, the caterpillar shields itself by encasing itself in a cocoon. Similarly, we hardened our bonds by hanging out and we explore each other (mentally of course but it got a bit physical in between). I assured you readers, we are still clean regardless (at least for now =P). Towards the end of the road, the caterpillar, after a long slumber, morphs into a beautiful butterfly. And I am proud to say, we are officially two butterfly venturing into the world together.

As a matter of fact,

we adopted two baby caterpillars ^^ We named them Cy and Ray Juniors. hehe. Currently, they are under my care and this shall be a test to evaluate my parenting skills. You can't see Ray Jr above but you may notice that there are alot of poops around. Those two can eat!!!

Furthermore,

I guess two really are better than one, even if I did mention before that we all have to be independent throughout life. You can still live life alone and find success but wouldn't it be better to share those success and dreams with someone by your side?

To conclude this post, two fireflies frolicking with each other as they flew passed me and Cy. Depending on some cultures of Japan, fireflies represent love. Was it a coincidence that those two flew by? Not to mention, the area within the vicinity was a construction site. Though we didn't manage to catch it (we were gonna let it go, dun worry), we left with a smile on our face, ready to take on the world together

Just Lovely Thoughts ^^

Cold and wet, up in the mountains

Your absence aggravates the lonely ambiance

'Round every corner, I'm urged to call you

Emotions too great to resist your companion

'N I'm petrified for the future is shrouded with inexpectations

Wouldn't you agree with life's unfolding secrets?

Omen, great or horrible, we can't predict

Nevertheless we have dreams and hope

Gone is the doleful past and moving on with the optimistic future

Human Immunodeficiency Virus

Yesterday, I had my first bloodtest. Normally, I would not be anxious about this kind of things since I donated blood before. But this was like whether I would be infected by that pesky HIV. I know i know. The very reason I would be infected in the first place is I did naughty stuff with random guys but I have almost stayed clean for half a year......I SAID ALMOST...lolx

I ain't gonna drag this post for I am lazy to write anything right now. Must be the excitement over the test earlier. Believe me, the suspense was killing me. I had tried to listen to Gaga's songs but it wouldn't work. Few minutes later, the counselor reported back that I was clean. XD

He even gave me a box of condoms == Apparently, young ppl like me have a higher sex drive. So me and my box of condoms, left the place feeling contented and 'clean'. Now it's just the matters of staying that way

Here's the website for those who wanna test their blood and suffer the same experience I had...hehe

http://www.ptfmalaysia.org/index.php

I remember

As I strolled down memory lane, I remember you

I remember the time when I could call you my own. It was the sweetest words I knew under all the circumstances. All those family problems and loneliness I could ignore because I had you. Every time I heard your voice, I felt joy and happiness. It had been a long time since I experienced that feelings. We were apart but our trust held us together. Distance was a factor but every time I saw you via cam, I would smile. You were the best I had and I was absolutely thankful for that.

Then came the day I went to see you face-to-face. I sat anxiously on the plane, waiting for it to land. You were frantically searching for the right airport to wait for me. Thank God the plane delayed because you arrived just in time. I saw you outside of the terminal, searching around for my presence. Without hesitation, I ran towards you as I dragged my luggage. The moment was picture perfect.

We laughed. We cried. We argued. We reconciled for the next few days. Then I had to go back to go the dreaded place but we knew we would be strong. Passed the guards, I couldn't hold it back for I couldn't feel your touch any longer. Tears dropped. It was the first time I felt hurt for you remained here and I had to go.

Then came again the time I visited you. But our love was inhibited by external forces. I endured till the moment I could hold your hands again. Sadly, I broke your heart. Our trust broke. You left. I tried to chase you back. Yet, I was left alone to cry in the dark. Whatever I believed in all fell apart. We were apart once again - for real.

As I poured my feelings out into this post, I realized I am a changed person now. Whether for the best or worst, I'm not sure. I don't know when will I feel that particular moment again. When you awaited in the airport for my arrival and we embraced for the first time, regardless of who were watching us. Guessed some parts of me still dwell in that moment. Looping until the day I die. A pain I need to endure everyday.

What I have for you now is neutral. Because I hurt you, you hurt me. Again, I apologized for what I did. Sometimes, I wondered what would happen if I didn't commit the mistake that changed our lives.

This is a crude video. I am a lousy cameraman. I laugh at it all the time. Even if you did hurt me excruciatingly, you were my best love ever. I wouldn't change it for anything.

A Note for You

We started off as BUDDIES,

Laugh, Chat and huggies.

In between we became enemies.

Loathe, Curse and fusses.

Now, as thing settles,

No more brawls and battles;

You, me, we snuggle,

Friends forever, none's left single.

Impending struggles we ensure,

in the upcoming days we endure.

As you leave with pieces of us behind,

Know that memories of us are still entwined.

It is here where we will wait,

Your return as set in the date.

Rejoice! Joy! We cheer

For our friend, Klein is here~

(Gonna miss you. Take care in Aus, Don't forget to drop us a line =D)

Raise Your Glass Cuz We R Who We R

Raise Your Glass~

Committing suicide is always the easy way out of a predicament, it's cowardly as well. However, if people prompt you to kill yourself just because you are different, then those people deserve to rot in hell. This is a matter of discrimination and there are plenty of that in the world. But right now, I want to speak on behalf of all the LGBT youth who committed suicide just because society doesn't accept them.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe suicide is not the way to solve a problem but those who couldn't handle the discrimination seriously has no way out. Some have no family support or friends to count on. People keep looking down on them like a vermin. But we are still people with feelings. It will be a miracle if they even manage to cope with the harsh condition. I'm just one of the lucky ones who has friends to back me up. Still, I really feel sorry for those who has no one to depend on and suicide seems like the only way out.

So now, to all the LGBT youth and adults, don't be afraid of who you are. The path maybe rough but once you are at the end of the tough journey, you will find solace. Just have to endure a bit more and ignore the real faggots who couldn't accept our perspective. We are who we are. =)

And with that, I come to my song for the post. Two actually. One is, as mentioned, We R who We R by Ke$ha whereas the other is Raise Your Glass by Pink. Both of these songs are a tribute to the LGBT youth who were murdered by being labelled. Enjoy the songs ^^

I'm Coming Out

Truth be told, I have never celebrated any LGBT events and there's no better way to celebrate my first LGBT event with National Coming Out Day. So whoever is reading this post, well, I'm coming out of the closet now and I am proud to say I am a LGBT member ^_^

Not to say I wasn't always out of my closet just that the door was always ajar, not entirely open. But now, by the power I vested in this blog, I'm gonna reveal to everyone that I AM GAY or bisexual or....ok, I'm kinda sexually confused nowadays. I shall discuss that another time =P

A brief description about this particular event: it is celebrated on October 11 annually but in UK, the date is October 12. Part of the LGBT awareness campaign, this event is to encourage LGBT members not to be ashamed of their sexuality and that they are equally human as everyone else.

Now, to all the LGBT out there. I know it's hard to come out under certain conditions. Your family may kick you out of the house, your friends tend to avoid you just because you are different and you will probably face unemployment but do not even change just because you are special. Heck, being unique helps us stand out in the crowd. Maybe this year isn't your year to come out but it's alright because there's always next year. You need not force yourself to reveal your deepest secret yet, just don't ever lie to yourself about who you really are.

But if Armageddon comes first, then you need to think twice~

Dancing in the flower

This flower is called Plumeria

=]

Yesterday, me and PLU pals went clubbing at a pub/club/restaurant. The name of the venue is the name of the flower, Plumeria(above =D

Anyway, one of my pals, let's call him Vin, had yet to attend a PLU club/pub. Since we were out of option, we chose Plumeria. Now, Plumeria wasn't your typical club with all the modern music and young handsome guys dancing around. No. The patrons mostly consisted of Westerners who came to Malaysia to have more than a little fun. Plus, the music was more towards trance instead of modern music.

I guessed that we arrived early since the bartenders weren't hastily preparing alcoholic drinks. So, we started off by drinking our own payed liquor. Ken came along but he didn't manage to open the dance floor. As time moved forward, I finished my drink first(they never do fill enough for me) and my head was spinning a bit but wasn't enough to get my hips shaking. Our chat session continued. By 12.30am, we ordered another round of liquors. Wai didn't order any because he might be a little tipsy. Hehe.

After all the stuff were down, that was when the party began. Wuuuuu.....

While dancing madly and unprofessional (sad case), a group of girls, obviously drunk, rubbed it in and shouted for no reason. I believed it was their way of saying hello. *Must investigate!* As if they weren't bad enough, a fat dude suddenly came up to us and flirted with us. Wai might have enjoyed it but the rest of us were like " Who the hell are you?!" Another case of limitless drinking.

So, even though we couldn't find a sight for our sore eyes, the night ended well...with Wai puking of course ^^