Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's finally going to be a year

Tomorrow will mark my one year anniversary. It's ntg regarding love or virginity. Pass midnight today, I would be staying here for exactly a year...here in the mystical jungle of West Malaysia.


Bear in mind, my first intention of coming here wasn't to study. If you refer to my older posts, you would know that I actually ran away from my hometown with several reasonable reasons.

But wait...u guys must be wondering. A emptied-headed childish kid like me ran away? That's logical since most kids ran away due to family issues. But how did I manage to survive here? Now, that's a question to be asked. I believed I should at least post it here as a reminder.

It all started in 2009, after I just finished my NS and received my SPM results. Eager beaver like me couldn't wait to go to college and leave my godforsaken hometown for good. My dad even promised to send me to the land of Down Under, provided that I searched for a notable college. He has issues with West Malaysia. In his perception, all West Malaysians, esp those from KL are all horrible avaricious conceited ppl. Since I have been here for a year, I can't exactly deny him but I don't totally disagree him as well. (I will explain further later)

So I did my research and presented it to my dad, then I waited patiently...waited...waited.

In the end, I was imprisoned in Form 6. But hey, I tried to look at the bright side. Cuz my Form 6 school was an all boy school, minus the girls in Form 6 of coz. Too bad, I couldn't find any worthy guys. On the contrary, I did find a few, one esp. He was adorable and he would chat with me only for long hours. The only problem: he has a GF.

SIGH~~

To make my life even more hellish, the teachers are all bitches. Those who are not teach the subject I hated the most during that time: Pengajian Am.

My mental toll was really reaching its limits. Even my friends (those I met in Form 6, nice ppl ^^) couldn't maintain my sanity. My only ray of light was someone I loved alot, you can say that I loved him the most out of all my exes. We had a long distance relationship. He was in PJ area and I was stuck in the depths of the jungle of Sarawak. Why didn't the relationship last? even when we seem so lovey dovy?

I cheated on him~~~

Ya, I'm a bad boy. Me and my family went to KL for a holiday in Nov/DEC 2009. He was busy during that moment so he felt bad that we couldn't hang out much. So, he asked his PLU friends to take me out to my first gay club. I can't remember the name. Anyway, I was reluctant at first but my ex told me he trusted me enough. He wanted me to experience the gay life in KL. I got a little carried away in the club. Guessed he was wrong about me.

The very next morning, I called him and told him the truth about everything. He shunned me and told me how horrible I was. I didn't fight back. He was right. Our relationship was in jeopardy because me. That's just the beginning of a really fucked up day.

I wanted to visit him and apologize sincerely. C'mon, apologizing on the phone was not exactly forgiving. My obstacle: family.
They wanted to travel from KL to Penang cuz me and my bros never went there b4. But my mind was focusing my relationship. Since, they are my family, I had no choice but to follow them.

En route to Penang, we stopped by Ipoh. By then, my guilt was eating me up. So, I sneaked away under the radar and hopped onto a taxi cab, spent RM200 and came all the way back to PJ to find him. I sent a text to my dad, told him that I was needed to go back to KL to pick up sth and that they should go without me.

Well, let's just say, when I reached, teary moments and rekindling were not expected. I ended up crying on the bus back to Penang. I fell ill when I reached and from that moment, my perspective on love was changed.

Moving on, back to the main story. So, my education sucked, my lovelife sucked, next in line was my family. Don't even get me started on them. My mum nags all the time and did ntg about her predicaments which cause her nagging. My aunties, both paternal and maternal, are irritating women who gossips non-stop and brag about their life and children which cause my mum nagging, I was treated as the black sheep of the family cuz all of them think I ain't strong enough to survive on my own! always need to depend on others! I'm sissy! My dreams are not worth following! I can't achieve anything! My opinions never matter! And then there is my dad.

My dad is the core person I blame for my messed up life. He promised me a trip to Australia and that wasn't the first. He promised again in December. I waited bloody months for him to send me to college. It's not like I wanna use the money and spend on drugs and alcohol. I actually do wanna study. But nooooooooo......Instead of waiting for my demise, my mind hatched a plot.

I planned for a month, accumulating all the money I could find and find the cheapest flight to KL. Don't worry, I ain't dump. I also asked my friends here for shelter until I could find a job. That's another whole story totally. Will elaborate next time.

A week after touchdown here, my family managed to trace my new phone. == they are smart.

I ignored them of coz...but that's the first few days of non-stop calling. In the end I asked for a deal. Since they care about my education as well, I asked them whether I could study in Sunway University. Without a choice, they allowed. And that's where I am now ^^.

Pass midnight tonite, it will mark my first year here ^^ along with some other event which u readers will find out soon. haha. Till this day, I have never regretted running away. Spare me the family is important speech. To me, friends come first always. I was able to pursue what I want to study. Form 6 was a hellhole which I'm glad I escaped otherwise I would have failed all my exam.
To end it all, I'm not the sort of person who will reside in a certain place for too long. I get bored too easily. Like a rolling stone, I need to constantly travel to new place after staying in one place for too long. But unlike the rolling stone, I do collect moss. As a matter of fact, I cherish the wonderful memories I have cuz u can strip me of all my possession but you can take away my the moments I spent with the ppl who are close to me.

4 comments:

  1. It's damansara my dear...
    Not PJ

    ReplyDelete
  2. Life ain't easy. Plan ahead a proper direction and keep pushing :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. The beauty of life is just about to be seen my boy... ^^

    ReplyDelete

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